Soul Retrieval is a process of retrieving or claiming back the spirit. First, let’s define what soul or spirit means. Right now, take a few moments to think about what soul means to you, what spirit means. Think about it. According to Webster’s Dictionary, Soul or spirit is the principal of life, commonly regarded as an entity distinct from the body, the spiritual parts that are in contrast to the purely physical. Taking this a little further, according to our modern language, the soul is the seat of all emotions, all feelings, all sentiments, our spirituality. Basically, it is all that is not physical. The famous psychologist, Abraham Maslow, as well as Roberto Assagioli, the founder of Psychosynthesis, called it the transpersonal self – beyond the personal.
According to St. Augustine, The soul is the life whereby we are joined into the body. Fascinating, don’t you think? According to most Eastern cultures and philosophies, we are all born with a complete, intact, marvelous soul, our true essence. It contains all the gifts, talents and strengths that we enter the world with. It is our birthright to fully express our souls that contain this beauty, this magnificence, this true essence, throughout our life. And further, I believe that right before we are born, we all have a private and intimate chat with God, our personal God and they literally show us this incredible, magnificent us. We see this true beauty and we claim it.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are we not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. I tell you that we were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. These words many believe to be from Nelson Mandela’s 1993 inaugural speech, however, they are actually the writing of Marianne Williamson. It really doesn’t matter though; the words are still powerful.
Unfortunately, as we enter life and begin to integrate with the world, we begin to forget this greatness. We begin to forget who we are, replacing our view of self with the projections put upon us by parents, our peers, our community. Soon, in our young lives, we forget who we are and replace it with who we are told we are: according to our parents, we are good or bad children, according to our churches, we are sinners, according to our authority figures, we must follow the rules to be a good citizen.
We lose this memory of our greatness. We define ourselves by all the woulds and shoulds of the world. We define ourselves by all our life experiences. We begin to forget who we are. We begin to lose parts of ourselves, this true essence, this beauty. We begin to lose parts of our soul. Very simplistically, our spiritual journey, including soul retrieval, can be considered a process of just remembering. Remembering is bringing back all the members of our original true essence we were born with. It is a bringing back or coming home to our original perfection.
Years ago, I heard a story about Natasha. She was five years old and was so excited about the arrival of her little baby brother. She was constantly hovering around him, always near when mom changed or fed him. She continually asked her mother if she could be alone with the baby. Mom was a little apprehensive, not knowing why Natasha had such a burning desire to have privacy. The mom thought perhaps Natasha felt sibling rivalry and wanted to bring harm.
But Natasha was insistent, and finally mom agreed and said one day, “Natasha, would you watch the baby for me? Mommy has to go to the basement for just a few minutes.” Natasha was so excited, and ran into the nursery. Mom, of course, was hiding just outside the door, peering around the corner to see what would happen. With tears in her eyes, mom heard her daughter whisper, “Oh baby, tell me about God, I’m starting to forget.”
In many ancient cultures, loss of the soul was thought to be frightened away or stolen by evil spirits. Today, we have replaced these demons with a thing called life, with all the rules and belief systems of our communities, carrying false expectations and definitions of self. Also, add to that all the trauma of growing up and moving around in this world. Traumas could include incest, abuse, loss of a loved one, major surgery, accidents, illness, a possible miscarriage, an abortion, stress of combat or addictions. Can you think of any other traumas that could occur?
Think about your own history and how pieces of you may have vanished. In any of these situations, whenever we experience one of these traumas, a part, a member of our soul, our essence, separates from us in order to survive the experience; to literally escape the full impact of the pain. So many victims of molestation remember and recount their experience as if they were watching themselves; separating from themselves in an effort to survive. A piece of their soul was taken.
In 1940, on a small Navajo reservation in Arizona lived a young boy of about 15 years old. He felt hopeless, helpless. He dropped out of school, finding it very meaningless. He became an alcoholic and his life seemed very pointless at such a tender age. His name was David Chetlehay Paladin. He gathered with a friend on the reservation and enlisted in the Merchant Marines. He figured this was a way to join the world, to grow up, to find meaning in his life. These two young boys sailed around the world. They grew and blossomed into manhood, finding spirit, finding life, growing in joy and adventure. They met a third young boy, a German, and together the three young lads were inseparable. Life was unfolding as one marvelous adventure. They grew to be men. The years were filled with love, hard work and building incredible character for all of them.
War was brewing in Germany and soon the United States was engaged in battle. David was called back home and within a heartbeat of an angel he found himself in the service, behind enemy lines, speaking code. He was known as a code talker. The Navajo language is one of the few languages, if not the only language, that is indecipherable. So, David was behind enemy lines, translating, coding, and decoding in his Navajo native tongue. Merely a young lad himself, he knew nothing of the war; he knew nothing of the strategies of battle. He was merely relating messages. His job was confusing and frightening.
In terror one night, he was captured by the Nazis. He was tortured; he was beaten. The Germans wanted his information, but David had no information; he really didn’t know what he was doing. After weeks of hideous punishment, his feet were nailed to the floor, he was forced to share his truth and divulge all the information he knew, which was nothing. Eventually, a broken man, David was tossed aside, destined for a train to Dachau, where he would be eliminated. He was of no further use to the Nazis now.
David, barely able to walk, his back broken, hobbled to the trains with a cane. All of a sudden a gun butt was thrust into his side. He turned around hearing an ugly German yelling, “Schnell! Schnell!” He looked into the face of the German and realized through the fog of his pain that this was his German friend, but there was no recognition in the friend’s eyes. He just pushed David, with the command, “Schnell, over to this train. Move quickly.” David was in shock. How could this young boy do this to him, all the months of joy and friendship they had shared? David was forced onto another train.
He was taken to a prisoner of war camp and thrown into a dark cell, with no light and only a germ-infested cot. An ugly German soldier came every once in a while and threw David rotten food, maggots, bugs, forcing them down his gullet. David indeed was broken. “There is no God,” he screamed.
Eventually, the war was over and the concentration camp was liberated. David found himself on route back to the United States, free at last. In the stupor of his injuries, he arrived in a Veteran’s Hospital, destined to die. David realized he must go home to the Navajo reservation where he can die among his own people and began his journey back to Arizona.
He was greeted by all the shamen, the wise people and the healers. They clearly saw that David was a broken man. “David, you are going to die, you’ve lost your spirit, and you’ve lost your soul. Reclaim your spirit or you shall die.” they told him. In a ritual, a ceremony, the healers tied a rope around David’s waist and threw him into a deep lake. Arms and legs flailing; he was drowning. David recounts the situation later as almost as hellish as the actual experience of his capture; he was in fear, he was going to die.
In his thoughts as he was drowning, David saw the face of the young German soldier pushing him onto the train. In his imagination, David heard himself yelling at this young man, “How could you do this to me, I thought we were friends?” And the young German looked at David, his eyes filled with tears and said, “David, you were destined for a train to Dachau, where you would have been killed. I managed to get you on a train to a concentration camp, where I knew you had a chance to live.”
Then David saw the face of the ugly German soldier who had thrown maggots and rotten food at him. And again, David screamed, “How could you do this to me? Is there no honor? How could you do this to another human being?” The German looked at David and said, “I kept you alive, David. I kept you alive for two years. I did it in love.” With all the strength within him, David fought the water. He found himself floating to the top. David had claimed back his soul and he lived! His wounds healed. His soul was retrieved.
Like David, the experience of losing a soul piece can be as dramatic as the story of a rape. We’ve all heard accounts of victims of molestation saying they felt like they had separated from their bodies; as if a part of them left in order to survive. Many will say that they literally felt like they were removed from themselves, hovering somewhere above the experience. Watching themselves; a piece of soul definitely broke off to cope with the devastating event.
According to John Bradshaw, in his book, Healing the Shame that Binds You, he explains, The victim leaves the body because the pain and/or humiliation are unbearable. The traumas are so great and the fear so terrifying that one needs immediate release; an escape. A piece of the soul could perhaps leave after experiencing a trauma as devastating as rape, or it could be just a harsh word or a slap from an angry parent that sends an innocent child into a belief that he or she is unlovable. A piece of that little soul breaks away; that piece that defined him or her as lovable. It’s gone forever, that belief that I am worthy, I am lovable.
What constitutes trauma varies from one individual to another. Soul loss, incompleteness or disconnection, therefore, is caused by whatever the person experiences as traumatic, even if another person would not experience it as such. From the trauma of war and post traumatic stress, to just a negative comments from a teacher, we can lose pieces of ourselves.
In today’s approach, talk therapy has provided our primary model for addressing the painful sense of incompleteness or disconnection that many of us experience. We could spend years in therapy or self help groups, desperately trying to uncover traumas and try to regain our wholeness. But, I believe that psychotherapy can only work on the parts of that are there. If, because of a trauma, a part of our vital essence has vanished, how can we really work on a part of us that’s not there anymore? How can we work to uncover that which we have yet to discover? Soul retrieval, therefore, is a concept of getting back, retrieving all those lost parts, remembering one’s original greatness.
First, we must identity the loss; the missing parts. How can we attempt to claim back that which we know not that we ever possessed? A paradox, I would say, However, listen again to the words of Marianne Williamson, We are born to make manifest the glory of God. We are joy. We are love. We are perfection. If we do not experience happiness and joy, if we do not feel loved and give love, if we do not feel perfect and worthy, there are indeed parts of our soul that are missing. There are members of our essence that have separated and soul retrieval can be a powerful journey of re-membering to be whole again.
We’ve looked at some of the traumas and events that can cause a soul piece to vanish. Let’s look and identify what happens when this part disappears. What are some of the symptoms of soul loss?
A spouse, a child, a dear friend dies and we may feel deadened, as if a part of us has died, too. Indeed it has! The light has gone out in our life and it takes a long time to recover; to find again that piece of our soul this trauma has taken away. For some, they may never find again that piece, that part, and it is gone forever. “Aunt Mary was never the same after the death of her husband.” “Harry is still grieving the loss of his son.”
After major surgery, we may feel that we are not fully recovered from the anesthesia. Any medical procedure can be devastating to the soul and a piece of us may separate just to survive. It takes time to bring the body back to wholeness. It is said that any allopathic procedure involving anesthesia, no matter how minor or ‘untraumatic’ it may appear to be, takes at least a year for the body to recover. “Jim hasn’t been the same since his gall bladder surgery last year.” “She’s having a hard time bouncing back from that operation.”
A major trauma, such as a car accident, often causes people to feel spaced out for a long time after the experience. Perhaps a soul piece may have separated to survive the crash. Similarly, in a separation or divorce, often we may feel that a part of us is left behind and indeed it was. A part of you may still be with him or her.
A soul piece may leave a child that doesn’t feel loved or feels abandoned. Even something as simple as the physical pain of a five year child falling off a bicycle. Can you think of other examples in your own life? Many of us have had, I’m sure, the experience of receiving a jolt, a start, a scare where a part of us seemed to spin out of conscious reality for awhile. Technically, this is called shock. The reaction is normal and there’s really no cause for alarm, but often for reasons that we may not fully understand, that part of us that left may fail to come back.
So, here we are as glorious adults on our journey and we may say, “Sometimes I feel like I’m not all here.” “I feel like something is missing.” “I feel dissociated from my feelings.” “I’ve lost my passion for life.” “I can’t find a purpose or a goal.” If any of these statements ring true, perhaps vital parts of your soul have left for one reason or another.
Another sign of soul loss is a gap in memory. Are there parts of your childhood that you can’t remember? Possibly a piece of a child’s soul left during a trauma and took with it the memory of the actual event. Often, incest survivors are unclear about their experiences and can remember no details including the act itself. They can spend years in therapy trying to recapture the memories, but possibly the part that held those memories has left. So, the information is not available at all.
Chronic depression is another symptom of soul loss. Often the fragmentation of the person’s true essence or soul keeps him or her from creating a path of joy. Like the example of the young child that feels unlovable, the soul piece that left so long ago is all about feeling worthy and adorable. How can we feel good, if we don’t feel good about ourselves? How can we truly love another, if we don’t truly love ourselves? Without a complete soul, often life is spent exploring ways, often abusive ways, to get to feelings and experiences that create a sense of purpose, however false. Instead of being able to follow the soul’s journey, such a person often feels depressed and unfulfilled. When a divorce or death occurs, a period of grief is, of course, appropriate. However, after a while, life resumes some semblance of order and normality. If a person cannot get over the trauma or separation, has a piece of the soul been lost? According to Carl Jung, Soul loss can be observed today as a physiological phenomenon in the everyday lives of human beings around us. Loss of soul appears in the form of a sudden onset of apathy or listlessness. The joy is gone out of life, initiative is crippled, one feels empty, and everything seems pointless.
Physical illness can also be a symptom of soul loss. Often, when we give away our power, we lose pieces of our soul and we may become sick. Because the universe cannot sustain a void or vacuum, if we are missing pieces of ourselves, an illness might fill in that place. Think about a time right now when something personally traumatic happened to you or a friend. After that trauma or accident, chances are you or your friend got sick. The illness filled the void of the vanished soul piece.
So, in identifying all the ways in which we lose our spirit, our soul, the following questions may be helpful in determining whether soul loss has occurred and is perhaps an issue for you.
Do you ever have a difficult time staying present in your body? Do you sometimes feel like you are outside yourself, observing it as you would a movie?
Do you ever feel numb, apathetic or deadened about life?
Do you suffer from chronic depression?
Do you have problems with your immune system and have trouble resisting illness, forever getting colds or the flu?
Were you chronically ill as a child?
Do you have gaps in your memory of your life after age five? Do you sense that you may have blocked out some significant trauma from your past?
Do you struggle with addictions, for example, alcohol, drugs, food, sex, cigarettes, gambling?
Do you find yourself looking to external things to fill up an internal void of emptiness within you?
Have you had difficulty moving on with your life after a divorce or death of a loved one?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be dealing with soul loss. I believe that, to some extent, we have all suffered some degree of loss; we are all searching and seeking that complete wholeness and intact spirit that we were all born with.
Quoting Joseph Campbell, People say that what we are all seeking is the meaning of life. I don’t think that’s what we are really seeking. I think what we are really seeking is an experience of being alive. How right he was! Possibly our spiritual journey, our journey to wholeness is the reclaiming of all our soul parts we have lost along the way; along the way we call life. This bringing back, reclaiming back or re-membering is called soul retrieval. Sound intriguing? Stay tuned. More in my next blog.
Namaste,
Patti Leviton
Synergy Seminars
www.synergyseminars.com
May 1, 2011
