More on Show Up and Pay Attention – September 21, 2010
In my post awhile back entitled Show up and Pay Attention, I discussed the Sufi’s four levels of consciousness.
Show Up
Pay Attention
Tell your Truth
And Don’t be Attached to the Outcome
In today’s world, these words of wisdom are even more profound and insightful than when they were first written some two centuries ago.
With all the craziness in the universe right now, with the exaggerations and polarities, we need to truly SHOW UP. To be in each moment, in the present. Not go back to the past, which may be filled with anger, sadness or regret. Not to look to the future which may contain anxiety and fear. But, in the present, the NOW. Eckhart Tolle does an exquisite job of discussing this in his book The Power of Now.
In Neurolinguistics, it is said that when a person is thinking about the past, they tend to shift their eyes up and look to the left. While thinking about the future, eyes go up and to the right. But, with eyes forward, the person is more able to be present and in the moment. So, to be in the NOW is indeed looking straight ahead. As modern research is proving, the place in the brain that is functioning in the here and now, really has no emotion. It’s that place of just taking in information. So, SHOW UP is about gathering facts, without judgment, and just being present.
Then, as we PAY ATTENTION, we begin to see details and process, again from this place of non-judgment, to see the world without the morphic resonance or collective unconscious of the world. To see things as they truly are, not clouded by prejudice or according to the preconceived notions of what it should be or could be.
Then, the TELLING YOUR TRUTH becomes much easier, because it’s about our authenticity, our truth according to us. As we separate from the situation according to how the world wants us to perceive it or believe it, we can truly speak according to how it resonates with us.
Now, the hard part. DON’T BE ATTACHED TO THE OUTCOME. Hey, we showed up, we paid attention and we told our truth. Of course, we should be attached to the outcome. Right? However, as I mentioned in the previous blog page, to the contrary, if we show up and pay attention and truly speak our truth, there’s no need to be attached to the outcome. Whatever happens is fine, because it happened. Believe in the process of the first three steps and then let go of any outcome. Perhaps the universe has bigger and better plans. Perhaps the outcome can give us lessons to change, or maybe not change.
By not being attached to the outcome, we don’t define ourselves by that outcome. If, for dinner, I make a quiche that turns out terrible, am I a terrible person? No. Not being attached to the outcome makes me conscious of the preparation of the quiche, and if it turns out poorly, that doesn’t define me, but gives me information of what I did wrong or what needs to be changed in making it again.
In a similar fashion, DON’T BE ATTACHED TO THE OUTCOME applies to our past, our history. Now, more than ever before in our history, we have come to carry our past, the outcome of our lives, as an attachment, defining us, defining who we are. Hi, I’m a rape victim or Hi, I’m an alcoholic. We attach to all the traumas from our past, carrying with us each day, each moment, the pain of all the things that have happened to us.
Years ago I was proud of the fact that I could say I’m a cancer survivor. Indeed, I am blessed that I’m still here today to even make the comment, however, I’ve come to realize that this statement really re-enforces the attachment to that journey. It defines who I am and continues to feed the emotions wrapped around the cancer, the pain, the fear, the anxiety, the desperation. As one of my favorite authors, Karol Truman, captured so well in the title of her book, Feelings Buried Alive Never Die.
We all have the traumas and pain from our past, that’s our history. But, staying attached keeps all those negative emotions alive within us. We carry them like a badge of honor, defining our very being. Then, when we’re face with a new experience, a new challenge, we not only react with the one trumpet of the moment, but a symphony of all the past hurts join in. Often creating an exaggerated and deafening reaction to the present situation.
I lost my parents in a car accident many years ago. After years of work, I have been able to let go of the attachment to the trauma. Of course, I can’t let go of the memory, it happened and nothing can change that. After almost forty years, I still miss them so. All of us have a history we can’t change. But I have let go of all the emotions and now, if I’m ever involved in a car accident, I know my emotions will be appropriate to the moment, without re-awakening the pain from my past.
Ok, so how do we let go of the past, let go of the attachment? The brain processes all our experiences in two different places. One place, the hippocampus, holds the actual event, the details of what happened and the other part, the amygdala, holds the reactions, the feelings, the emotions. Through imagery, we can literally unplug, if you will, from the emotions, the pain. The event must remain, but the emotions of the trauma can be released. A simple shift in changing the ATTACHED to CONNECT. We no longer need to attach to the outcome, but we can connect to the experience, it is part of our history and it has indeed brought us many lessons of personal growth and empowerment.
Imagine that sacred ritual of people standing in a circle. Arms outstretched to their sides. But rather than holding hands, which it truly a symbol of attaching, we need to re-define that to connecting. In many Native American cultures, this circle involves arms outstretched, left palm up, right palm down but not touching; connecting WITH, not attaching TO the other person.
Right now, I invite you to think of an event from your past that you would consider a trauma or was very painful for you. Now close your eyes and see it as a symbol that represents that event. Got it? Now, see yourself standing in front of that symbol and you realize that there is a fine cord attaching you to that symbol. See it? Now, I invite you to see a tool right there on the ground that would be able to cut that cord, and I’ll give you some time to just sever the cord. The symbol must remain, it is part of your history, but the attachment to you is no longer necessary.
Since research is proving that the brain cannot distinguish between what’s real and what’s imagined, use your imagination to re-frame and shift from being defined and attached by our past, our traumas, to a place of personal empowerment and connect as just part of our history, our story; changing the words from ATTACH to CONNECT, a simple shift in consciousness. Similar to my theory of telling the body to RELEASE weight, rather than LOSE weight. Because, in the processing of the brain, everything is taken literally. Whatever we lose we will try to find. So release is letting go forever. Come on, admit it, how many times have you lost a few pounds and then gained them back? Indeed, the body is obeying and finding once again what it has lost.
Attach, in Latin, literally means TO BECOME PART OF. We become part of each event and it defines us. I become my cancer. We become whatever happened to us.
Connect, on the other hands, connectere, its Latin meaning, to tie together, each remaining separate in and of itself.
Subtle difference, but profound. So rather than saying I’m a cancer survivor, I now say I happen to be a person who had cancer. I no longer need to attach to the experience, but rather connect that it is part of my history.
Namaste,
Patti Leviton
September 21, 2010
Synergy Seminars
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